Slider


Clueless gifters of the world unite - I've got the answers for you here. The plight of the perfect Christmas pressie is a well-documented one, so I thought I'd do my bit as a compulsive window shopper/internet browser and list some tried and true gifts for the fairer sex. These are just some little bits and bobs that'd make any Christmas stocking complete, or some great places to start as part of a larger gift. Happy shopping!

The Warm, Woody Scent:

You can't go wrong with a travel-size rollerball of perfume, as thoughtful gifts go. For popping in a handbag or taking on holiday, I wish these Sephora staples were more common in the UK. They're so bloody convenient! One of my favourite scents for the season is Nirvana Bourbon, a sweet, warm and spicy scent. For those looking a little more upmarket and even headier, you might want to try Oud Immortel by Byredo. Another failsafe is the classic Wood Sage and Sea Salt by Jo Malone.

The Christmas PJs:

A soft and snuggly pair of pyjamas for Christmas Day is three gifts rolled into one. First, something thoughtful, useful and kitsch. Secondly, the unspoken permission to spend all day in your comfies. Thirdly - two words: elastic. waistbands. I love this Next night shirt, these Hush PJs and these fancies from ASOS. The only rules are - must be adorable, and must be softer-than-soft to the touch. Fluffy socks optional, but encouraged.

... Or Something A Little Less Comfortable:

Heads up to those who are coupled - buying lingerie is expensive. Usually, lingerie is bought to delight the beholder. So, behold all the things that delight you, and gift them to your significant other. I love Rosie for M&S' range for really sexy, luxe pieces. If I could afford it, I'd stock my entire top drawer with La Perla (this bra is almost too much). Still, there are steals to be had too, and once again ASOS comes through with the sexy, thrifty good times.

The Gift That Keeps Giving:

One of the best presents I ever received was a magazine subscription - think about it, Christmas lasts all year! A present a month for the next 12 months is something no one will say no to. So gifting a magazine that's difficult to find, or an indie read like one of my faves Suitcase, is a no brainer.  For those a little less literarily-inclined, why not gift flowers, for three months?

The Quirky Christmas... Everything: 

I am all about a novelty earring or Christmas jumper, and there's plenty of good stuff out there to choose from this year. This Santa mug is everything I want in a gift without trying. These novelty earrings from Accessorize offer you no end of festive items to dress up any outfit. And this candy cane jumper is stylish, cozy, and a design piece. Who can beat THAT?

The 'How Did You Know...?' Make Up:

Lest you aren't a part of the blogging community and don't keep up with Instagram, let me introduce you to the gift we all didn't know we needed: Glossier. Their no-nonsense, effortlessly chic range of minimalist skincare and make up will make even the loudest naysayers look twice. I've written a more in-depth review of some of my favourite make up pieces from the brand, but start with either the Phase 1 or Phase 2 set and you won't go far wrong.

And if all else fails... chocolate coins and selection boxes. Because some things just cannot be bettered. Merry Christmas!

We've reached the last 31 days of 2017.

I wrote this on my Twitter on Friday night and it hardly seemed real. Today, we're on to our final 27, and that seems even less real. I punctuate each one of these monthly posts, which I love, with 'somehow we've reached' and it doesn't get any less true. December has arrived in the same whirlwind I felt began somewhere around January, and maybe that was still a continuation of the total mindfuck that was 2016. As I write, President Trump is still President (although, thankfully, that seems to come with the caveat of *just about* at this point), Brexit is still happening (again, same caveat), I'm about to enter into the year I turn 30, my Christmas tree is lit and beside me for the last time in this flat probably.

Yes, the new year looks like it will come with a move - only a few doors down, but thankfully to a bigger space. I'll have an office with an honest-to-God window and space to roll out my yoga mat. We'll have a slightly bigger kitchen to litter with washing up and a slightly bigger boiler for all those super indulgent winter baths we haven't quite kicked the habit of, despite best efforts. On paper, 2017 has been a banner year. So why do I come up feeling like it has slipped through my hands?

When I think back to the beginning of the year, and choosing 'abundance' as my word for 2017, I have to smile. The phrase 'careful what you wish for' comes to mind. It has been a year of plenty and a year of change, all culminating in this wonderful month of cosiness, family time and yes - excess. And perhaps, on reflection, this is what I'm really feeling - the excess of it all. The weight of the noise I have created in rushing forward, pursuing goals and setting deadlines for myself that had no business being there. As I approach this month and the new year ahead of me, I want to remember that. I want to make traditions and memories, not deadlines and pages of goals. I want to take care of my body and mind, not take every extraneous comfort that won't nourish me. Most of all, I want to surround myself with those I love the most, not 'stuff'.

I hope your December is a peaceful one, full of love and loved ones, and yes - mincepies and mulled wine, but moments and memories, most of all.

SEE: One thing I'm so sad to have missed in my local cinema is Call Me By Your Name - it just looks like the most beautiful piece of cinematography. We're heading into Oscar season though, so cinema fodder is rife, and let's not pretend like we're not all really jazzed for the next instalment of the Star Wars reboot. I watched 'The Force Awakens' on Netflix the other night and remembered just how special it was. However, the thing I am MOST excited about seeing this month - uncontested - is Hamilton. I am so, so thrilled to be going to one of the preview nights with one of my best friends and I can't even write about it anymore because too excited and I just want to random letter all over the keyboard.

LISTEN: Here it is - the Ed Sheeran and Beyonce song? Really not a fan. There I said it. You all know how I feel about Bey by now but this is so schmaltzy and the cynic in me says it's purely facilitated for a Christmas #1 spot-grab. What I've been listening to over and over again is Sia's Christmas album, particularly Snowflake. I've also loved my baby cuz's Live Lounge cover of Finders Keepers/Walk On Water/New Rules/No Scrubs (yep, she DID that). And the Rihanna verse on Lemon is a gift to us all, forever and ever Amen.

GO: We've booked a last minute trip to spend New Year's Eve and the beginning of 2018 with my family in Dubai, and one of the places I'm most looking forward to visiting while we're there is actually in another city - the new Louvre Abu Dhabi looks so beautiful, and it's been such a long time since I visited I feel like I should update myself on all the new things happening there. I can't believe there's going to be another Guggenheim there soon!

EAT: I'm really excited to be having our office Christmas party at The Alchemist in Oxford. It's a really cool steampunk-styled bar and restaurant, and the menu alone made me absolutely drool - I'm sure judging by the constant queues around the place that the food and legendary cocktails must be well worth the hype. We're truly being spoilt for choice at the minute with the new Westgate!

DRINK: It's mulled wine and mulled cider time, so grab yourself something warm and clove-infused and you'll be on the right track. Make your own on your hob and fill your house with the comforting scents of the season.

WEAR: Parties abound during December and I've been looking for my perfect 'can permit a food baby and still look glam' outfit - I think H&M might just have bailed me out of trouble. Whilst I would love to have the denari to buy this beaut Rixo London number, 'tis the season to give graciously, good will to all men and that. So H&M have gone and done a lovely and made a Tami price range affordable version. Cheers, you babes.

READ: I have so many books to catch up on it's untrue but if you're in the mood for a long read this piece on Greta Gerwig's Radical Confidence made my whole day last month. And yes, I would otherwise link Jay Z's interview with Dean Baquet here but to we really need to be giving more airtime to toxic male behaviour, apology or no apology?

THINK: Forgive yourself. That's all. Sometimes your achievements don't look the way you think they should, sometimes the goals and 'to dos' you set for yourself are too much for the peak hours of productivity you have in a day. Winter is a natural signal for hibernation, gathering and slowing down. Grace and gratitude, and forgiveness. And together. Because that's what December is really all about.

PS - I might've appeared on the Sky News site in November so if you need me, I'll still be broadcasting all my snowflake feelings on my Twitter feed for journalists to use as important representations of ~youf~. Laterrrrrr.

A few weeks ago, some close female friends and I jokingly toasted that we were now working for free until 2018 because of the gender pay gap. Unsurprisingly to every woman I know, our situation hasn't improved for some three years, and indeed it looks bleaker the more you read into it. In 2017, male full-time workers earn an average 9.1% more than women. An almost 10% gap. In 2017.

Corporate culture and indeed, even working for yourself, can breed a strange silence culture around pay, money and transparency - but today's post is written to say fuck that. Wherever your working and however your skills are being used, valuing your time and effort is not a taboo subject, or a tricky conversation. In this day and age, and particularly for women, defining what you are worth from the outset is crucial to not only your happiness career-wise, but also to your future success and opportunities. And make no mistake about it - that is what a salary conversation is. It is a representation of your worth. So there is absolutely no need or obligation on you to shy away from it - quite the opposite in fact.

I've just had to renegotiate myself and it can sometimes be a very ugly, sticky process. From a purely standard transaction of back-and-forth and sticking points, to more ugly encounters where manipulation and guilting can sometimes come into play - I've gone through a really wide range of salary talks, and I thought it might be useful to share some of the things I've learned along the way with you.

BEFORE ANYTHING, SET YOUR BASE LINE: When coming out of any interview, I ask myself honestly what the lowest salary is that I'm prepared to do the job for. I set that as my base line figure, and decide then and there that any offers lower than this will be met with a polite refusal from me. This is perspective that you gain through experience and having worked for a few different kinds of managers, but you'll quickly learn that a job is a job, and valuing yourself and your time is worth a hell of a lot more than punching in and out of a job you hate for less money than you should be accepting.

To set this figure, factor in the lowest amount you require a month to live (rent, bills, expenses etc.), any relocation costs if you are moving for the job, and then how much the job will add to your portfolio or CV. Always remember that interviews are as much for you assessing how well the company suits your personality and life, as they are for the company to see your fit for them.

ALWAYS AIM HIGH: This might seem counter-intuitive, but I live by 'eyes on the stars, feet on the ground' - when stating your salary expectations, always hit somewhere around the upper limit for what you believe the job to be worth. The chances are, in today's climate, that you'll be low-balled at the outset of negotiations, so having a stance where the halfway point is still acceptable to you puts you in a much stronger position, or so I've found.

MAKE A CASE: That being said, you can't just pluck a figure out of thin air - do your homework. Sites like Glassdoor enable you to get a good handle on industry averages, local averages and to see where your company stands amongst its competitors in terms of pay and fair treatment of staff. It also helps to weigh your experience into this figuring - if you're entering a job role with three to five years experience behind you, your cost is going to be higher than someone coming fresh out of university - don't apologise for this. If a company or client desire you and your expertise, they should be prepared to pay what's appropriate for your work.

USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE: How you frame a discussion around salary can be so crucial - very often, you'll be having this discussion with an HR or Finance representative rather than your future boss-to-be, and these are people who have these kinds of conversations every day. There's no need to be apologetic or overly saccharine - I've found phrases like: 'This offer is below what I was expecting - as stated at interview, my expectation was around this figure. Can we work together to find a compromise that reflects my skills and experience and fits the pay grading of this role?' You never want to dwell too long on the negative - things like compromise, working together, finding a halfway, help to guide the conversation in a more constructive direction.

BUT DON'T BACK DOWN: I received an offer once that was some £6000 off where it needed to be. That's quite a gap to close, and no amount of compromise was going to bring them near enough to what I expected. When you find yourself facing that kind of gulf or feeling defeated at a really low-ball offer, be upfront and polite: 'The lowest figure I would be prepared to accept this offer at is xx.' Going in with this strategy does leave you open to a rock and a hard place situation where you've stuck to your guns and might have to turn down an offer, but if you feel in your gut that the offer they've made is massively unfair, sometimes it's the best way to get through.

AND FINALLY: You are almost always worth more than even you know, and definitely worth more than a figure someone will assign to you. Salary negotiations should make you feel excited, valued and great about accepting an offer of work, and not dissatisfied, guilty and downtrodden before you've even begun. If a company or person aren't willing to treat you well during negotiation time, chances are they'll be painful to work with moving forward. Trust your gut, trust your skills and your worth, and be confident in what you ask for. You'll nail it!


Colder climes, happily, mean more great excuses to stay indoors and read.

It's no secret I'm a homebody, and I've been getting back into my full swing obsession with reading. Our work book club is in full force again and I'm FINALLY starting to make my way through my backlog of 'must reads' - a bit of a hangover from the summer. So, there's plenty to talk about in this post! Here are some thoughts on what I've been reading -

Friend Request by Laura Marshall

Laura was new to me, as was this title - this was actually a pick from our work book club. It was absolutely a page-turner and a really easy read (I got through it in a day and a half whilst still spending time with family), but for me this was just a little TOO close to the structure and narrative style of Gone Girl. Thrillers aren't really my preferred genre hence the lower score, but I am really glad I got the chance to read it, as I would never normally have picked it up. It's definitely simplistic writing that helps keep the pace motoring forward, and is complete with a double twist, which is always fun.

Little Black Book by Otegha Uwagba

This book is so great, and I'm already buying it for every woman in my life that needs a present. Smart, savvy and succinct career advice from women who have done it and are still doing it, smashing boundaries in their industries. I can feel a little outnumbered in my current situation at work as a woman, and Otegha's words were exactly what I needed to help navigate me through some tricky discussions when it came to my self worth and how I want to be recognised in work. I recommend it to every woman, whether in a corporate kind of career or running your own business - invaluable practical advice and inspiring words. I'm keeping this one to annotate and highlight for sure!

How To Be Both by Ali Smith

A perfect score for Ali Smith because I'm not convinced I can actually critique her work. The way that she uses language to construct pieces of art through storytelling blows my mind the more of her work I explore. Her work is at once lyrical and irreverent, heightened and atmospheric and immensely real. I feel as though I know her characters, not through lines and lines of expositional descriptive work, but just for how familiar they feel. Reading her work feels like pulling on your favourite jumper, or wearing a shirt that smells of a loved one. It's familiar and comforting and warm, but also beautiful and breathtaking. How To Be Both is one of, if not, her absolute best. Split into two stories that are tightly interwoven, each copy of the book tells the story in a different order - mine, for reference, was narrative story first and abstract section second. It made me laugh out loud, it made me cry - it was so ambitious but then so simple and delicate. Instantly one of my favourite reads ever.

CURRENTLY READING:
Winter by Ali Smith

WHAT I'LL BE READING NEXT:
ARTFUL by Ali Smith

ALL WE SHALL KNOW by Donal Ryan

THE LUMINARIES by Eleanor Catton


I'm not even making an attempt at apology - I'm starting to make plans and get ready for that most wonderful time of the year. Sprucing up my house ready for the festive season is one of life's little pleasures that I've really enjoyed indulging in as I've gotten older and started enjoying trips to garden centres. J and I are oddly house-proud of our tiny nest here in Oxford, and we love hosting people around here for Christmas, mulling wine and cider on the hob and making the whole place warm and cozy, mincepies and Camembert being shared around like they're going out of style. Is there anything better than Christmastime?

Suffice it to say I've had a bit of a virtual dig around in these parts, and have put a few of my favourite bits and pieces to bring the season indoors together for you today. Enjoy!

Clockwise from top left: 'T' Reindeer mug by Emma Bridgewater; Christmas throw from H&M Home; Santa & Rudolph crackers by Meri Meri; Seasonal Candle Trio from Diptyque; Anatomy of a Christmas Tree from Trouva Home; 'Bake Someone Happy' apron from H&M Home; Leaf and fern wreath from Zara Home; Pinecone bauble from John Lewis; The Christmas Chronicles by Nigel Slater; Constellation garland from West Elm; Christmas mug, bowl and tray from Zara Home; Joy! cushion from H&M Home.

Powered by Blogger.

Instagram