So this post is a little off-the-beaten track in terms of blogging but one I feel passionately about. I feel like I owe Lena Dunham an eternal debt of gratitude for putting out a show that speaks fairly honestly about being a twenty something in the world today - although, granted, I would easily trade in my hometown for New York City anytime. That being said, I don't really want to lament about how difficult it is to get a job in a recession or re-hash the trials and tribulations of being a graduate right now. What I do want to write about is more about who I want to write for - my best friends, my mum and dad, myself... Without breaking out into a chorus of '22', I wanted to say, if you're here? Celebrate twenty.

 When I graduated, I put so much pressure on myself to have it all figured out. I wanted the job, the agent, the salary, the apartment, the perfect relationship and the independent life in the city. Suffice it to say, I had a pretty crashing journey back to reality. Fresh out of uni and I was unemployed for around 3 months, really scared about money (even though I had the most supportive, helpful parents in the universe) so I took any old job. And I hated it. I had a 45 minute commute to work and back every (very early) morning and (very late) evening, was stood on my feet all day in a passionless cycle that made me more and more depressed as I went on. I was emotional, exhausted, over-worked and underpaid and all of the cliches that go along with it. It was awful and lasted about two months before my father, on the phone to me from 3,000 miles away, literally had to instruct me to hand in my resignation. I found myself unemployed once more.

And so it has been, undulating back and forth since 2010. I've pushed myself to the edge of anxiety and back cross-sectioning and drilling myself over and over about my career, only to reach this conclusion just shy of my 25th birthday: this is the point. This is supposed to be the hard part.

Ask anyone at any age who they are, or what they want to be, and take their answers every ten years of their life, there will be changes. Life takes us in so many unexpected directions that trying to have everything all mapped out and tied up seems, well, futile, yet we're obsessed with the idea of 'getting everything right'! I don't know if it's our instant, on-demand, constantly connected state of being, but it seems to me my generation are almost as narrow-minded about finding instant success as the employers they argue will never give them their first job (more on that at some other time...)!

I say it because I lived it - give yourself a break. It's so important. You might want that perfect looking life that you see on blogs or YouTube or in magazines or that you read about, you might think that everyone else is so far ahead of you, but you are just where you need to be. Breathe. Take stock. Focus. These are your years to 'figure it out'. Take your time. Take some classes, make new friends, live at home for as long as you can manage and when you can't, go easy into your next living situation. Take photographs (not Instagrams - well, not always), travel, have experiences and work out what you really, really love.

Chances are that will point you in a good direction.

And for my very dear friend who has just had her life take a very exciting, new and wonderful direction - enjoy the ride! One day I will be telling this story again to another confused young one, just like us.

7 comments

  1. Amazing! I loved this very well said, I myself will admit I can be a workaholic at times :O but after reading this it makes sense to just relax sometimes I found it hard getting my first job and my job is not that great its a cleaning job my last job was in a factory still not to great but I was thankful for these opportunities especially during these hard times I just save my money up know to hopefully one day get a house of my own :) I am always worrying thought about money and just the normal everyday stuff but recently I have learned to relax more and let nature take its course so thanks for this great inspirational post really like your blog :) and I hope everything works out for you too! xx

    www.krystelcouture.com

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    1. Hi Krystel, thanks so much for commenting :)

      I'm definitely in the same boat as you - always worrying about money and trying to save towards my own home too, but we do have to remember to give ourselves breaks! I hope you manage to save up what you need and start feeling a little better about everything, but just remember (like I try to tell myself) it's not a race, we've got time, and to enjoy every moment :)

      Thanks for your sweet words and for leaving your blog link - I love your blog too! I've followed you - would love if you'd follow me back!

      T x

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  2. I love your header :D :D I'm 25 and I have no idea what I'm doing, where I'm going.. or anything. When you're young you just have this path you dream of, but in reality it's nothing like that :( xxx

    Gemma ♥ | Miss Makeup Magpie

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    1. Aw thank you so much!! One of my best mates designed it for me - she's at twitter.com/ellendre and is a total babe :) You know what, reality might be nothing like the dream but I'm learning that you find new dreams all the time :) My dream last August was to get my apartment furnished and I'm just about doing that now!! So yeah, tiny dreams all add up to bigger dreams in the long run - just have to appreciate what you have and work really, really hard for what you want!! I'm sure that you know more than you think!

      Your blog is absolutely beautiful - I've followed you and I'm so glad you commented. Thanks so much again. I hope you've got a bunch of little dreams too :) Maybe a subject for an upcoming post? I'd love to read!

      T xx

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  3. Lovely post! I totally agree that your 20s are about trying to figure it all out (or really, any stage of your life). I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life or my career. I like your message to give ourselves a break and not give into that pressure of getting it right and leading this perfect life. I think a lot of people just dive into anything resembling normalcy (like a boring, soul-killing office job they have no genuine interest in) just because the uncertainty or the actual work of discovering what they're passionate about is so scary or against social expectations. I know that I'm basically guilty of that. It's good to know that these kinds of struggles are things that everyone deals with and it's all a part of growing up and discovering who we are.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and for your thoughtful comment <3 Everyone needs a friend like you around to remind them of these things when they get panicky - myself included! I think it's sad that it takes these desperate times for people to decide that they 'might as well' pursue their dreams because there are no other options - wouldn't it be wonderful if we were all instilled with the belief that we'd never fail? Think of all the things we could achieve! But I, like you, am definitely guilty of taking the boring, soul-destroying course because I was too scared. I hope slowly that we're all getting braver :) T xx

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  4. A little bit late to the party but I just stumbled across your sblog - this entry is maybe my favourite blog post ever! & also very, very relevant to my life at the moment... 24 years old, trapped in a job i absolutely hate which reduces me to tears most days, trying to muster up the courage to hand in my notice and walk out but with no idea where else i will go! i think sometimes we forget that life is a journey, you get one ride and you should enjoy the one shot you get. thank you so much for this post, it came at the perfect time for me! i will be brave, hand that resignation letter in tomorrow and finding something that make me happy! xxxx

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