Well, it happened.

This week, I hit a low low. And, to be honest, I haven't really pulled myself out of it, so it's a little weird writing this post and feeling like I have to summarise a week which, in all honesty, I want to leave behind as fast as I can. Sometimes in life the hardest lessons about your own accountability and taking responsibility for your actions can really take the breath away from you, and I've been looking a lot of ugly truths in the face. I can't say I know what to do, moving forward. I can't say I really know how, at this point.

And so, I hold my hands up to you today. I don't have all the answers. I don't have a nice summary for you. I sit in front of a screen for more hours of the week than I would like to count, making pictures look beautiful and editing a reality of my life that, right now, I don't want to uphold. I want to tell you about how scrolling through Instagram, wishing I had someone else's life, is driving me a little crazy. I want to tell you about how my desk job is not where I thought I would be at 27. I want to be vulnerable and honest, but that takes a strength of its own, and I do not have strength right now. I have a lot of questions, and a vacuum. Empty. I'm at empty.

I'm not going to include links this week, because to show you what has been beautiful and inspiring on the Internet would also be to show you what has been causing me pain. If I can give you one thing this week, let it be this thought - let's go outside. Let's leave our phones and cameras and all thought of documentation or perfect light or filter behind. Let's just be us again. Even if the us we have has lumpy thighs, or a crooked nose, or less money than someone else, or subpar photography skills. 

I want to go back to a time before comparison. I hope I can reach that place and stay there, for a while.

There'll be a pre-edited video scheduled for Sunday, and then - to be honest with you, I don't know what. I had planned content, but it's nothing I feel like making right now. I'm going to take a break for my own sanity and if there's inspiration and excitement to come back and write again, that's exactly what I'll do.

Thanks in advance for your patience.

9 comments

  1. I really understand this - its so easy to compare yourself to others and wishing you wasnt yourself, i know i do that alot, which leads to demotivation, lack of content, photos and more self-doubt. I guess all we can do is to remember why we started these things before it became a competition which to be honest is with ourselves, we are competing with ourselves - theres no need to.

    i was once told, everything you see on someone blog, instagram, social feed is jsut wrapping paper which always looks prestine and glittery, but no one know whats in the inside, it could be a cardboard box for example - what we see is not always as it seems (well thats what i keep telling myself!!! lool)

    Your doing the right thing and taking a break - its the best way to recharge, before you know it you will be back booming with more ideas and cant wait for you to share with us. !!!!



    xxx

    www.yasbeyou.com

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    1. Yasmin this comment meant the world - thank you so much for being so thoughtful and for reading and leaving this for me. You helped more than you know! I'm already feeling so much more myself and so much more inspired, I'm really looking forward to creating content again! T xx

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  2. Tamira I was so sad to read this post! I really hope that you take some R&R and that this break serves you well <3

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    1. Thanks so much for commenting Anna, I'm sorry if this made you sad! I think sometimes growth is painful and necessary for better things to come along - at least, that's definitely how I'm feeling now <3 T xx

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  3. Don't think I could relate to a post more. Thank you for writing this, and being so honest! Social media can be so self-destructive. I need to take a break sometimes to keep my sanity, and remember what life is actually all about. I hope you feel better & rejuvenated after yours! Sending you lots of hugs! xx

    Sunday Chapter

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    1. Angela thanks so much for commenting - your blog is one I really love and respect, so hearing this from you was hugely helpful and reassuring. I'm definitely feeling better than I was and have some great ideas for where I want to take the blog moving forward! T xx

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  4. Aww, I'm sorry to hear things aren't going great for you at the moment. I definitely need time away from the internet now and then, whether anything is wrong or not I just don't find it helpful or constructive to spend ALL my time on it and I like to do things in the real world a lot and that helps to not get caught up in it all. It sounds like you're doing that this weekend though so I hope you're having a lovely time away and you're feeling better soon. x

    jessica - littlehenrylee.com

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    1. Thanks so much for commenting Jessica - I think I just needed a good break away from everything! The blog should be back up and rejuvenated soon enough and I'm definitely feeling better for stepping back :) T xx

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  5. I don't follow your blog, but this is such an important post. I feel like I don't follow most blogs because I try to keep myself away from comparing myself to other people's polished and expensive lives. But the internet still helps you do that so much, facebook and social media are what I use. Thank you for having the courage to make this wonderful and honest post. I hope everything works out for you, but really, you can only go up from the bottom. :) Take care, Helen

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